I wake up in a trenchcoat and hat, with one arm, and halfway through the wall of the music section.

I march to the plumbing and metalworks and fashion myself a bionic arm.
And merrily swing about the rafters!

While in the pharmacy, I grab some bandages, and run off towards the cake sale.

I see you running there and shout, "THE CAKE IS A LIE!!" to you, making you so sad you choke yourself with the bandages.

Hearing weird noises from outside the department store, I look around to see a mob fighting in the mall. I quickly go back inside, grab a broom and start spinning it around, while humming Duel of Fates from the Star Wars soundtrack.

Among the madness, i walk past the fighting mob a take a seat on a bench, and watch the mass mayhem, deciding to fight only if my life is endangered.

I, after choking myself, fall unconscious onto Pm0n3y, forcing him to fight.

*Cue pokemon battle music*

"Well, so much for being a pacifist" I think to myself, throwing the unconscious body into a garbage can. I then pull out the two novelty energy swords and charge headfirst into battle.

I crawl out from under the benches where I've been hiding and run into the gardening shop to find a flowerpot helmet.

I climb out of the BIN (bloody Americans, calling it a 'trash can') and see Cargando running from under the bench that Pm0n3y was sitting on before the chaos unfolded.

I give chase to Cargando.

Well, I've finished my ice-cream, now to head to the sports store...BlackJack wants a bat

I crawl out of the vent with my backpack, and throw gobstoppers everywhere again.
"Bwahahahahah!" I give out an evil laugh and jump into a nearby fountian, emptying tubes of sherbert into the water.

I'm now halfway down the path to the restaurant area, having left behind me a trail of mildly bruised corpses. Unfortunately, I hit myself in the head with my broom, leaving me unconscious on the floor.

I leap into the fountain and drink the sherbertyness!
then I start swinging Sky about with my new bionic arm

I scream as Jedamethis swings me around, until he lets go and I go flying into the nearest store. Which luckily is a cuddly toy store.

I crash into a giant panda, giving it a big hug.

I curse as Sky is safely thrown onto a panda. Then I pounce on her

After bonking random people on the head with my swords, i get bored and push my way out of the crowd, deciding to go window shop for awhile. on my way, i pass a toy store and see Sky and Jeda tussling around a bunch of teddy bears.

"What the hell? Are they...doing it?" i think, confused at the sight before me.

"Hey you two! get a room!" i yell, before going about my business.

Confused at Pm0n3y's call, I ignore it and continue tussling with Sky

I wake up next to the furniture store. Crawling inside, I hide myself inside a sofa. With my new found camouflage, I head out into the corridor once again, making my way to the restaurant area.

I continue to scout out with my recently acquired firearms, in search of the one who released the cable and no- Wait...
*Whiff Whiff*
Is that.... Spaghetti? FOOD!

*Runs and drops everything in his possession.*

Oh, hey, a restaurant! And FOOD!

*Runs in*

Oh, hey, a nice and comfy sofa....

AH AH, my plan worked wonders... Just as COR 2000 sits on the sofa, I reach out, holding a mustard bottle I had previously grabbed from a fast food restaurant. COR cries in pain as a jet of mustard hits his left eye. I then grab a spaghetti string from his plate and start strangling him with it.

I LOL at Ren's attempt to use a strand of spaghetti as an effective garrote, then drop from the ceiling and stab him in the back of the head with a screwdriver. I then run away really quickly to a sports supply store, grab a skateboard and a golf club, and, wielding the club like a katana, come skating out and batter anyone I happen to skate past.

"AHHHRGGGGGH, MY HEAD!". And it was a brand new one... I run over to the pharmacy, where I search for some meds. After cleaning the wound with alcohol, I search for some bandages. Not being able to find clean ones, I grab some used bandages that were on the floor.

I sit on Sky and throw knives at people, a fork occasionally too

I deflect the knives with my golf club, then skate over to where Jed and Sky are and bludgeon the crap out of them.

With my head now bandaged, I go back to the food court and grab some supplies: coke and mentos.

With those in hand, I go to the top floor and look at the people fighting beneath me. I then drop the mentos into the bottle and drop my makeshift grenade into the mob below.

I push Jed off of me and yell "Pervert!"

I run back to the fountain and complete my mini bomb. the fountains water turns into foamy sherbert, which affects all the water supply.

I toss Sky out of the way and proceed to bludgeon the crap out of Sam

I lose sight of Cargando, and feel a terrible pain in my ribcage. Damn. I'm bleeding. Now where did I leave those bandages?

In the process of battling Jed, I'm suddenly overcome by a great thirst. I run off to a water fountain to drink summat, but before I can get there I suddenly have to jump out of the way to avoid a mentos grenade. I flip off my skateboard and fling it upwards at whoever dropped the grenade.

My coke/mentos grenade falls on the sherbert and explodes. Since scientists have been too busy trying to make flying cars or something, no one knew that when coke and mentos are mixed with sherbert, the result is picric acid. Spreading through the water supply, this causes all of the toilets and sinks in the mall to explode violently, killing several hundred people.

*evil laugh*

I make my escape through a vent on the wall, narrowly dodging a skateboard. Sheesh, be more careful!

I realise that Ren3004 has my bandages, and jump at him, only to have a mentos grenade blast me upwards towards him, through a vent. I grab a lightsaber from the weapons store and I do battle with Ren3004 over the bandages.

*Cue pokemon battle music*

I also laugh as my sherbet bomb is brought to life, then flee to the cuddly toy store again. I make myself a huge suit of armour from bits of cuddly panda's.

I flop down into the beds, and start snoring

I dodge SirBryghtside's first lightsaber attack and grab a blaster. Unfortunately for my, deflecting blaster bolts is as easy as it looks in the movies. My bandages are hit and fall to the floor.

Taking advantage of this distraction, I grab my own lightsaber (purple) and proceed down the vent.

I grab the bandages, wrap them around my ribcage. I look around for Ren3004 to finish him off, but he's disappeared off somewhere. Damn.

I use my lightsaber to cut a circe in the vent underneath, and something cushions my landing rather well. It feels like a bed...