I take off my scamp disguise and assassinate Ren.

Then I realise who it is, and am sad, before the whole thing goes back about 10 seconds as Ren save-reloads.

"Hmmm... this place could sure use a better decorator. Oh, that short yellowish creature with large ears and sharp claws must be some kind of guide murderous traitor."

I hit the scamp with the metal pipe repeatedly, then find out that I can now shoot electricity from my fingertips.

I electrocute the scamp until it's fried, then realize it's Sir and am sad.

I save-reload, and talk to Ren about the futility of killing each other here.

So, seeing how I've killed everyone in Cyrodil, we pick a spot on the map to go to.

Ah, Vvardenfell. LET'S GO!

_{But SirBryghtside! You have a passageway back to the mall! surely you should take this oppurtunity and defeat Sobek?}

...

No one asked for your opinion, Gaary.

I agree to go with Sir.

*walks back from ahemadultstoreahem* what i miss?

Meanwhile, in Oblivion...

Ren and Sir attempt to capture an unicorn, but are ambushed my minotaurs. Can they defeat these terrifying enemies? Stay tuned for the next episode!

*reads past events* oh ok!ummm *looks out at empty mall* ehh i'll wait here *walks around not noticing sobek*

ehh im bored *walks into oblivion* (i have not played oblivion yet but i really wanna get it so if i'm an idiot sorry)

Erm.. There's no minotaurs or unicorns in Morrowind...

*POOF!*

The minotaurs and unicorns disappear, and are replaced by an Ogrim, a Bonewalker, three ancestral ghosts, and a Daedroth.

I stab them with my wristknife (_repeatedly), and Ren zaps them with electricity.

"HA! Beaten!" I say, as the Daedroth is on its last legs.

Suddenly, it starts laughing, and rises, revealing it's actually Sobek!

"Ah. Ren... I think we might have a problem..."

Sobek pulls off his mask and reveals himself to be none other than me, Sam G!
"O-ho, you're in "hot water" now!" I say, pulling a kettle out of my pocket, blindsiding Ren with it and pouring hot water over Bryghtside. Then I remember how the mall hates puns, and catch the bubonic plague.

*right when i walk in i hear horrible puns and walks back to the mall*

*Ramthundar pops into the middle of the Mall Food court, by the magic of Sam G's Cameo!*

"What the hell? Bloody hell this is a huge place! But what am I doing he-PIE!" Ramthundar cried, jumping to the Pies-In-You! store and chowing down.

Hearing sam's cries of pain, I unleash massive amounts of electricity all around me, killing everyone in a 2 mile radius.

"Shocking, isn't it?"
Suddenly, a 10 ft minotaur appears behind me.

"Falcon Kick!" I yell, respawning in a flying-kick position in mid-air and soaring towards the minotaur. I kick it in the head, but that just irritates it and it grabs my leg and hits Ren with me.

I get out my portal gun, and fire it at a cloud, and then beneath the Minotaur, which makes it fall into a volcano.

Me, Ren and Sam go after it, but not before 'stocking up' in Balmora.

On the way, I stab sam with a hidden dagger, as revenge for blinding me.

I need a cure disease spell.

"Ah, that's fine Ren, all you need to do is find a mage who knows the spell!"

*looks at the array of corpses that we have assassinated*

"...shit."

We continue our quest to find the minotaur, and come across this crazy guy in a stupid mask once we reach the volcano. He says something about me being the nerevarine, so I just assassinate him a couple of times till he shuts up.

Meanwhile, I buy a glass armor and longsword from a nearby store.

Quad falls into the mall. Looks around dazed and confused

sitting in the managers office talking over intercom "welcome to my little hell! enjoy your stay *locks door and puts a dresser behind it*

After seeing Sam, Sir, and Ren go into oblivion, i decide to go into the manager's office. Unfortunately for me, EMB beat me to it. Sit outside the door and for him to come out.

*knocks on door* passwords?

"My, that was some good pie." Ramthundar commented on, coming out of the store licking his fingers.
He was surprised to find himself in a volcano like area, and even odder was a man that was walking by him with green, shiny armor.
"Hmmm..."
Ramthundar took a large rock (very handy places for rocks, volcanoes are) and smashed it onto the guys back.
As Ram (as he will now be know as) looked down at the quivering body, several large shards of glass stuck in the body's back, he thought "Well, guess glass armor really isn't that sharp, eh?"

Suddenly, a minotaur came over and started ripping Ram to pieces, which I didn't mind really, because I wasn't there - I was too busy looking up Greek mythology on google in Seyda Neen.

I apparently have to look for someone called 'Ariadne', and get a sword off of her.

After another google search, I realised that it wasn't in the game, so I used world editor to give myself the sword. Oh, and OVER 9000 strength.

BACK AT THE MANAGER'S OFFICE...

I paced back and forth in front of the manager's office, thinking of a password i could use to get in. I suddenly get an idea.

"Okay, the password is: OPEN THE FUCKING THE DOOR BEFORE I KNOCK IT DOWN!" I yell, starting to bang on it.

I slowly drag myself up to SirBryghtside and feebly say "Please..help me...." I faint again.

"No." *kicks cougar*

"TO DAGOTH UR!"

I respawn, ready to accompany Sir.

I respawn, break Ren's neck and take his place beside Bryghtside.

We finally get to the ghostgate, assassinate everyone there, and go into the volcano place.

We find the minotaur, and bits of Ram strewn across the floor, followed soon after by bits of Ren.

"NO!" I scream, drop ariadne's blade, and run off towards the Vivec's St. Delyn canton.

For some reason, I feel like hiding.

In a sewer.

_Repeatedly.

how'd you know *opens door holding a shotgun just in case*

Meanwhile, me and Sir are going through the sewers. We hear a sound behind us and see hundreds of rats coming at us.

"DIE", I say, shooting lightning out of my fingertips.

wakes up next to a empty keg wearing a toga "what happened yesterday, and why am i in a mall?!?"

walks around to find answers

BACK AT THE MANAGER'S OFFICE...

The door slowly opens.

"Wow, that was a lucky guess." I say walking into the office.

The office is pretty big, with giant windows that oversee the entire mall. A wall is littered with various TVs, knobs, and buttons. I turn to EMB, totally ignoring the shotgun he has pointed at me.

"Well, let's cause some mayhem shall we?" i say to him.

A devilish grin spreads across his face.

*puts shotgun down* you read my mind! i'll make some molotovs!