I launch the remote controlled lion Mk. 4, and have it head towards sam g.

This new lion is equipped with a system in it's jaws that completes a circuit when it closes it's jaws, causing electrocution in the person it bites down on.

I finish my catapult and start firing out of date Lollipops at people's heads.

I then start filling my backpack with gobstoppers and other hard candies so I can use them as bullets when I get a smaller catapult.

I jam my broom through the roof of the Remote Controlled Lion's mouth, then hop off my chair and scurry away before it explodes.
I run into a nearby GameStation and grab every copy of "Crash of the Titans" I can find, and use them as projectile weapons (having first spat on them).

I start lobbing perfume bombs at everyone I see, killing three people. But at least they died smelling great.

I appear out of nowhere and gather up all the rope in the mall, making a 3,000 yard long length of Garrote wire used to strangle everyone in the mall.

I grab one of my Crash of the Titans discs and use it to cut through the rope. I then nab some fishing wire, tie two spoons together and make a pair of makeshift nunchucks.

as i see a rope fly towards my neck, i duck and avoid it, confused as to where it came from.

*walks in*

Hey guys, what's going-

*whip!*

Ow! Hey, alright, who did that?! Oh, they're so going to pay!

Let's see, do they have a Gander mountain... Gander mountain, ^{Gander mountain}, ^{Gander mountain}.....

Ah, here!

*Loads up*

There we go! Now to find the one responsible...

I release my final Remote controlled lion: the Mk.5

This lion has had it's jaws modified to react like a clamp, and it is able to balance on it's hind legs. I send it out with the trolley held within it's jaws, and have it move over towards the stuffed toy section.

i walk into the stuffed toy section after my failed attack. i see a robotic loin and attempt to beat it to death with a teddy bear.

I see someone attacking my lion. It's jaw clamps down on their arm and breaks it.

I run into a supermarket and grab a banana. Then I run into a kitchen supplies store and grab an ice pick and a bowl. I make a banana split.

"ah! dear god!"
i shout as the lion breaks my arm
"two can play that game!"
i bite into the lion's neck, having no effect because it is metal.
"crap....."

Now that's dealt with, I immediately forget him and get my lion to start loading the trolley with stuffed alligators. When it is half full, I move it with the trolley towards the tools section.

I feed someone the banana split as a distraction while I shove the icepick into their cerebral cortex. Good luck fighting now!

Quickly stealing several Nerf guns, extra ammo for them, food from the food court and thumb tacks I steal the main elevator in the lobby of the mall. Stopping it halfway I break the all glass front and begin to fire at people with thumb tack altered nerf darts.

i die because of bleed out, i re spawn outside a hardware store. i run into the store and emerge out wearing a suit of power armor made of wood with buzz saw hands.

"GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!" i shout as run out waving my buzzsaws around.

I wander into the food section and start eating

whilst stockpiling cutlery of course

"Woopah!" I yell, leaping out of a refrigerator whilst twirling my makeshift nunchucks above my head. I smack Jed around the head with them a few times, then sprint off like a crazy person.

i see sam running around like a crazy person, i chase him in my wooden power armor with buzz saw arms.

I briefly rub my head and continue eating, pausing to throw some knifes at the crazy nunchuk-wielder

I leave the food court, go to the candy store, get some gummi bears, go to J.C. Penny's, get a trenchcoat and a fedora, I then go to a sports store, get a bow and 20 arrows, take the tips off the arrows, replace them with nails, and set them on fire. That being done, I then take the bow and break it in half. Now with all that out of the way, I go into a security room, find a Night Stick, a whittling knife, and a kevlar vest. I cut the night stick to a point. I then go off and make a Fallout 3 Dart Gun, using kitchen chemicals instead of Radscorpion posion, I run out, find a garbage can, and throw it donkeykong style at the nearest foo'.

I catch the knives out of the air and counter Excitednuke's buzz saw attack by jamming them in the saw's blades.
I then trip him over and run off to hide in a music shop.

I watch him run, follow him sneakily, find a cello, and begin playing Faraway, by Apocalyptica.

My francium decays in half a second apparently (DAMN YOU AZAELLROD!), so I grab some Caesium and head for the fountain.

I burp loudly, step out of the way of a malevolent stranger's (see what I did there?) garbage can, and saunter over to the clothes section to find me a trenchcoat and hat.

I leave the music store, and hit the fire alarm, triggering the sprinklers. I then run like all hell is loose to the top floor. Once there, I find a small room with no sprinklers, hide in it, and close the door, waiting for everyone to drown.

I see what you did there. Also, how dare you take mah trenchcoat!

I look for a lampost to sing in the rain with

i chase down sam g and impale him with my broken buss saw, then throw him at Sirbryghtside

I get thrown at SirBryghtside. I stand up, rip one of his arms off, and wield it like a weapon, beating Jedamethis with it.

I run into Tesco at my local mall. Grab a cart and ride shotgun until I hit the shelves. Then I put the cart back on its wheels. Repeat.

Oh and by the way. The floor is now lava, so I jump from one cash point on another.

My lion returns to me with hammers, nails, several drills, and a chainsaw, as well as the stuffed alligators. I then send it out to attack whoever it encounters first by biting down on their arm with it's clamp-like jaws.

Azraellod's lion tries to bite my arm off - however he fails, as it has already been ripped off by sam g. The lion flies into my other arm, knocking the Caesium out of my hand, which then falls into the fountain, blowing up the lion, Azraellod, Jedamethis, me and sam g into random places in the mall.

Luckily, I land in the pharmacy, and all my wounds are healed.

You are all now flooded halfway in water from the sprinklers.

my wooden power armor floats

"hah take that bitch!" i shout out in excitement

i swim over towards malevolent stranger and beat is skull in with the broken buzz saw fists.