While claymorez is digging through the rubble, I sneak up behind him & lick the fucker's LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM.
Then stab him.

As Pararaptor tried to open the doors, I threw an explosive can at him. The doors stayed there, but the resulting explosion caused foam to appear around there.

As I turned away, one of the cans I was holding went off. I drowned in the foam, and waited to respawn...

As no-one bothered to put out the fire I caused two pages back, now half the mall is on fire. I come running out of the flames, holding (you guessed it) a pair of golf putters and a staple gun. Next, I grab Pm0n3y, throw him into the burning half of the mall, then staple the doors shut so he can't get out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGHHH!" I scream.

As I am being ripped apart by zombies and raptors, I realise that it would be a good idea to use my username.

I respawn, still merged with Jedamethis for some reason, in the music shop, and as the CDs have all been burned, I grab a load of Killers posters and fashion together those and the melted remains of the CDs to make some awesome spears, that if you stab someone with, because of all the grooves in the metal, it plays Mr. Brightside.

I run out, and stab a load of zombies, sometimes removing their heads, sometimes destroying their brains, causing them to die, Jed's half taking on the raptors.

We run down to catch up with Paraptor, claymorez, and THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM.

I sharpen the CDs on my arm, and slice up the raptors, but get overwhelmed.
We start running for THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM

Rubber band... check. Cogs... check. Half pipe... check. Blowtorch... check. Finally, my improvised crossbow is complete.

Luckily, I don't have to wait too long to try it, because Sir and Jed appear to be running dow the corridor holding some kind of spears... Wait, they seem to have merged... WTF is going on here.

Anyway, I load the scalpels into the crossbow, take aim, and hit their back with a steady stream of flaming scalpels.

Sir and Jed start to separate...

I can't sleep without the mall going up in flames?

I awoke to the smell of burning, and realize that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Apparently, I'm still in the ice cream section, so I run over to where everyone else is to see Sir and Jed separating, with Ren behind them.

"Let me help you with that!" I shout as I fire a flaming cocktail at the three.

I see a man with a few stored Cock-Tails.. -Giggles-
I grab the baseball bat which i drill nails into.. And slam him in the side with the sharp naily baseball bat..

Have at thee"!

Hey, he was helping me!

I aim at Grimm, cut off his fingers with flaming scalpels, take his baseball bat and hit him in the head with it.

Meanwhile, Jed starts to turn green. Putting our quarrel aside, I go to his aid and ask

"Hey, man, are you sick?"

I raise from the ground and bite ren in the neck and rip a chunk of flesh from the meaty substance, "NomNom.."..
"Braaains.."

I gun-whip Grimm in the back of the head, then took the naily baseball bat and bludgeoned him to death.

Then I went over to Jed and Ren to see what was going on.

I reply to Ren: "No, just very very angry."

I then rip him to shreds and separate from Sir
Noticing I'm on fire and have scalpels in my back, I run to the fountain to put myself out, then run away to pull out the scalpels

Ouch, my neck!

I turn around, drive a scalpel through Grimm's brain, killing him, and say

"Bite me!"

Suddenly, a big green hand grabs my shoulder.

CENSORED

I respawn inside the music store, still holding my crossbow.

I respawn, "The hell"?

I grab the T-Virus and inject myself with it.. "Yea' mother fuckers, Taste VENGEANCE"!

I believe these scalpels are yours?
I then stab all of them into Ren's face

"Special delivery!" I yell, hanging on to a rope attached to the ceiling and swooping down, firing staples at the lot of you jerks.

I watch as sam's staples fall to the ground. And laugh.

Having just been ripped to shreds and stabbed in the face with scalpels seems to have awoken my latent ninja skills.

I crawl between the mob, hold myself from the ceiling and take aim at Jed's head.

Unfortunately, I find out that my skills were just imaginary and everyone in the corridor, including Jed, is staring at me

I stare at Ren and poke him

I hop down from the ceiling, walk over to Ren and kick him in the kidneys.

"All this while I'm just standing here..."

I grab all the dropped weapons and combine them into some sort of super weapon, and begin firing at the now T-virus infested Hollow Grimm.

Ya know, Grimmjow would be kinda cool if he was a super-zombie...

My kidneys! I retaliate by punching sam's spleen, thereby rupturing it.

I hope you enjoy that massive internal bleeding.

I staple up my spleen wound with my staple gun, then whip out my golf clubs and bury them in Ren's skull.

Unfortunately, the staples only make deeper wounds, and sam dies of massive internal bleeding, paralizing the diaphragm and obstructing the gonadal artery (who says this isn't medically possible?).

A massive bucket of water douses everyone, and a THE LAST FUDGE ICE CREAM APPEARS ON A MASSIVE TV SCREEN THAT ANYONE IN THE MALL CAN SEE, IT'S IN THE CENTER OF THE MALL GUARDED BY ONE SINGLE ARMED OLD MAN. RUN TO GET IT!!!!oneone!!!eleven

I respawn next to the old man, break his neck, and guard THE LAST FUDGE ICE CREAM with my golf clubs.

I take one of the golf clubs out of my skull and start making my way towards the center of the mall. Apparently running around with a hole in your head isn't a very good idea and I fall dead on the floor.

Meanwhile I am in the toys section playing with a jarjarbinks doll.

I respawn inside the toy shop, pick up a lightsaber toy, and knock the Jar-Jar Binks doll out of your hand.

"BLASPHEMER!"

I start crying and run to the bathroom, where I am instantly fried by the electric current.

"But... but... I just wanted to play..."

I go to the gas station, cover the toy lightsaber in gasoline, and set it on fire with my trusty lighter.

Going back to the central corridor, I find sam guarding the LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM. We start fighting, lightsaber vs golf club.

I hop in, and hit sam with himself again to cause a time paradox so I can be made into a whole person again.

Unfortnately, instead of this, I become THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM, and as there are no signs, no one knows where I've gone.

The fight is getting more and more spectacular... I jump over his head, knock the golf club out of his hand and he kicks my hand, disarming me.

I put my hand up, saying "Now, you will feel the full power of the dark side", and discover that I cannot actually cast Force Lightning.

"Shocking!", I say.

"Hardy har har." I reply, as I knock Ren out with the needle-bat.

Then I exit the store to see a whole bunch of people going after a scoop of ice cream. Strange.

I jump and enter a quick-time event, and succeed as I fire a cocktail at the ice cream, and hits.

Once again, my tendency to make bad puns has proved to be my undoing. When I wake up, the corridor seems to be deserted. I head towards the department store, while searching for signs of anyone.